This counts as a complete 2 weeks (and starting on the 3rd). Paul tries to be optimistic and reassures me we are 1/3rd of the way done with this rotation. I wished I found more comfort in that. But in all honesty, I'm getting the hang of it all....not that its easy, I'm just learning how to work it. I guess its like anything else, I just have to ease into it.
I've been thinking, the phrase "single mom" either implies empowerment, or it hints to a different type of lifestyle. Now, I don't think I fit that "different" kind of lifestyle (if you know what I mean) .......so, does that mean I'm empowered? Hmmm, I dunno, maybe? I feel empowered at times, when the bottom of my kitchen sinks are visible, when I spend quality time with my girls, when I find the laundry table (despite the mountains that were atop), when my children are all fed (healthily), bathed and in bed on time. Yeah, I feel good when we keep to our schedules.
However, its not all empowering, in fact, a lot of times it feels more like defeat. When it takes me all day to find 2 mins to brush my teeth. When I don't do my hair...and haven't all week. When I cannot appease any of my children....and they run circles around me, crying all the while. When its dinner time, and I have no plan. When Daddy really is the fun one.
So, maybe we're both, and its inversely proportionate, titrated to individuality.?? I mean really, aren't we all
Mothers? Don't we all have those white-trash moments? Haven't we all gone to the store looking like crap ( Murphy's Law always gets me here) and we see people we know(and quickly do our business, pretending we don't see that person we know...like today...ohhh shame.)? We've all been '
that mother', haven't we? ....with the children who wouldn't nap and for some reason you decided to take them in public anyway....and SO regretted it?
And of course we have our days (hopefully that outweigh the previous statements) when we are Super Mom, and we can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! I'd like to believe I'm still invincible and indeed fall into this category....even when I'm flying solo...and may not be graceful at every step....um, like when I looked and felt like the "different" lifestyle Mom today at GE. No ring, no makeup, remains of the day on my shirt, yuck hair, 3 kids....2 cookie faced girls....buying pizza, milk, yogurt and cereal. Not real classy my friends. ((however in my defense, I did re caulk the shower today, was on time dropping off and picking up Hailey from PreK, made a ton of calls, did some major cleaning and went to GE with all 3)).
Despite my embarrassment at GE, all in all, we're surviving. With some good periodic help...we're doing it. I also treated myself to a 1.5 hr massage (on sat)..it was great by the way. I'm learning how to expedite things in the morning, which is indeed advantageous...to us all. I have also worked every Friday this month and admitted it was pretty tough to do, so I took just a couple shifts this next month....lighten the load a bit. We miss Paul though. Its not like he does a TON here, but we just miss him. I was actually fortunate enough for marry my best friend, and darn it...I like to be around him ;-)
So, :::raising my spoon of icecream:::: here's to us Mom's who rock the world ...and the cradle.